Dumb Laws – W

By Jab

Dumb Laws by Letter State — A C D F G H I K L M N O P R S T U V W

Washington | West Virgina | Wisconsin | Wyoming


  • It is illegal to buy, sell, trade or give away a used wood stove in Washington state. This began about 1994 and when it was instituted there was a wood stove collection day where people lined up to dump their unused wood stoves. … Thank you Esther!!
  • All lollipops are banned.
  • A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.”
  • It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
  • People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
  • All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.
  • It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.
  • You are not allowed to breast feed in public.
  • When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.
  • You are breaking the law if you sell or place in the stream of commerce a crib that has: corner posts that extend more than 1/16-inch above end panels; slats more than 2 3/8 inches apart; a mattress support that releases easily from corner posts; cutout designs on the end panels; tears in mesh or fabric; missing or loose screws, bolts, or hardware; sharp edges, points, or rough surfaces on wood surfaces that are not smooth and free from splinters, splits or cracks. The new Infant Crib Safety Act in California (AB 3760, Speier), Colorado (SB 98-023,Pascoe and Morrison) and Washington State (SSB 6229, Kohl and Pennington) states that “no commercial user shall manufacture, retrofit, sell, contract to sell or resell, lease, sublet or otherwise place in the stream of commerce, a full-size or non-full-size crib that is unsafe for any infant using the crib.
  • You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.
  • Auburn — Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
  • Bremerton — You may not shuck peanuts on the street.
  • Everett — It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.
  • Lynden — Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.
  • Seattle — You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
  • Women who sit on men’s laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
  • No one may set fire to another person’s property without prior permission.
  • Springdale — It’s illegal to let your pigs run wild down main street.
  • There is no “Unreasonable ringing of bells!”
  • It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.
  • Spokane — TV’s may not be bought on Sundays.
  • Waldron Island — No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water for flushing.
  • Wilbur — You may not ride an ugly horse.

West Virgina

  • No children may attend school with their breath smelling of “wild onions.”
  • When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.
  • It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
  • It is illegal to snooze on a train.
  • Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
  • According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.
  • If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
  • Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
  • Whistling underwater is prohibited.
  • Alderson — One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
  • Nicholas County — No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
  • Huntington — Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
  • It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.


  • You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
  • Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
  • Citizens may not murder their enemies.
  • Whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has.
  • As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.
  • Condoms were considered an obsene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist’s counter.
  • At one time, margarine was illegal.
  • State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
  • The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife. That would mean that women could not be guilty of rape and neither could men who thought they were married to the woman.
  • While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.
  • It is illegal to kiss on a train.
  • It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.
  • Car dealerships cannot sell cars on Sunday.
  • Kenosha — No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.
  • La Crosse — It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street.
  • It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.
  • It is illegal to play checkers in public.
  • You cannot “worry a squirrel.”
  • Milwaukee — An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
  • It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention.
  • If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day.
  • It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.
  • Racine — It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
  • Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man.
  • St. Croix — Women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.


  • It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people’s view in a public theater or place of amusement.
  • It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
  • You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
  • Cheyenne — Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.