Dumb Laws – M

By Jab
0

Dumb Laws by Letter State — A C D F G H I K L M N O P R S T U V W

Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana

Maine

  • After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
  • You may not step out of a plane in flight.
  • Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
  • Augusta — To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
  • Portland — Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.

Maryland

  • Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere.
  • Thistles may not grow in one’s yard.
  • Baltimore — It’s illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.
  • It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.
  • It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898)
  • No person who is a “tramp” or “vagrant” shall loiter in any park at any time. They define tramp as a person who roves for begging purposes and a vagrant as an idle person who is able-bodied living without labor. It’s a $50 fine.
  • It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.

  • Baltimore City — Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited. You may not curse inside the city limits.
  • Columbia — You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish.
  • Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
  • Ocean City — A law from the early 1900’s prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk.
  • Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited

Massachusetts

  • At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
  • Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
  • An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
  • Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
  • All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
  • Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
  • It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
  • A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
  • It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
  • It’s illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
  • It’s illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
  • It’s illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
  • It’s illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
  • No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
  • Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
  • Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
  • Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
  • Quakers and witches are banned.
  • Bullets may not be used as currency.
  • Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
  • Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
  • Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
  • Public boxing matches are outlawed.
  • It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine.
  • Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
  • It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
  • Boston — It is illegal to play the fiddle.
  • Two people may not kiss in front of a church.
  • No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.
  • No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.
  • Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays.
  • It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.
  • An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.
  • Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.
  • Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common.
  • No one may take a bath without a prescription.
  • It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
  • Burlington — You may not walk around with a “drink”.
  • Cambridge — It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk.
  • It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
  • Hingham — You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible.
  • If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
  • >Hopkinton — Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
  • Longmeadow — It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
  • Marlboro — It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.
  • Silly string is illegal in the city limits.
  • One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.
  • It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
  • Milford — Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
  • Newton — All families must be given a hog from the town’s mayor.
  • North Andover — An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
  • Woburn — In bars, it is actually illegal to “walk around” with a beer in your hand.

Michigan

  • A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
  • There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat’s head brought into a town office.
  • It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
  • You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
  • Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
  • Clawson — There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
  • Detroit — Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property.
  • Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
  • It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
  • Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.
  • It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from “rooting” in the ground for their food.
  • Grand Haven — No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
  • Harper Woods — It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
  • Kalamazoo — It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
  • Rochester — All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
  • Soo — Smoking while in bed is illegal.
  • Wayland — Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.

Minnesota

  • A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
  • It is illegal to sleep naked.
  • All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
  • Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
  • Oral sex is prohibited.
  • All bathtubs must have feet.
  • Hibbing — It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
  • Minneapolis — Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
  • St. Cloud — Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
  • Virginia — You’re not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.

Mississippi

  • Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
  • Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
  • Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
  • Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine.
  • Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
  • It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
  • Columbus — The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
  • Oxford — It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
  • One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.
  • Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.
  • Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
  • Tylertown — It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.

Missouri

  • It is illegal to have oral sex.
  • It is not illegal to speed.
  • Buckner — In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
  • Excelsior Springs — Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
  • Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
  • Kansas City — Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely.
  • Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
  • Marceline — Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
  • Marquette — It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).
  • Mole — Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
  • Natchez — It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
  • Purdy — Dancing is strictly prohibited.
  • St. Louis — It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets.
  • A milk man may not run while on duty.
  • University City — Four women may not rent an apartment together.

Montana

  • Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
  • It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
  • In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
  • It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
  • It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
  • It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
  • Excelsior Springs — Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
  • Helena — No item may be thrown across a street.
  • Salisbury — Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
  • Whitehall — It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels